perhaps i was living in a little utopia of my own. i am really sad. and this is entry is not the most cheery of all. so people who are feeling stressed, please don't read

well, the cold harsh fact that i din get the honours night thing kinda hit me when i realised that the closing date for submitting the honours thing is well kinda today and the chance of me badgering my teacher to give to me is really slim. resigned to fate i choose to vent my frustrations here. anyway, when qt told me i din get it, i wanted to badger my teacher to give it to me. then, i realised that the criteria for getting it is that u kinda have to perform beyond expectation. so yar. i realised that 6 others got it but me. i used to think that if u like what u were doing u wld excel in it. but, i guess in today's world, liking is an additional bonus. what's most impt is abiding by the rulebook and efficiency is the most impt. not how much u like. i wondered about image. is what u see always what u get?maybe not. sorry to sound so skeptical.i do things according to how to how i feel. but i guess that's not really necessary today. its more of doing things according to what is politically right and doing things according to ur head that's impt.

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/Alissa
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